Why do i start over?

Start over:

_I want to be thin, very thin
_I want to be skinnier than my friend Z
_I want to get rid off most of my body fat
_I want to have pencil legs
_I want a stick figure
_I want to see sinews and muscles under my skin
_I want people to notice that I get less and less
_I want people to see and say that I am thin
_I want a huge gap between my thighs
_I want a sharp edged face
_I want to be able to live on oxygen